AT LEAST THIS PLACE ISN'T BORING

Tue, 2015-07-07 20:49 News Staff

COUNTY NEWS: LAWYERS, GUNS AND MONEY

By G. Romero Wendorf

When I think of Hidalgo County News of late, I’m reminded of Warren Zevon’s classic song: Lawyers, guns and money.

Part of the lyrics goes like this: “Send lawyers, guns and money, dad, get me out of this.”

Unfortunately, Zevon, who also wrote “Werewolves of London” is no longer with us, sadly succumbing to cancer at the relatively young age of 56.

But as I survey the county scene, with a long list of stories still waiting to be written, Zevon’s song is so reminiscent of what I’m seeing a lot of these days in south Texas: lawyers, guns and money.

My news hopper is full of stories I’m in the process of writing. All will hopefully be written and published within the next several weeks. Unless I take a side trip to Reynosa and get kidnapped by the Zetas or the Gulf Cartel. But since I have no plans of crossing the border, that shouldn’t be a problem.

Funny story, well, maybe not so funny, because I didn’t know my friend’s wife would actually listen to the voice mail on his cell when I called his number a few months ago, sounding serious when he didn’t answer: “Help, I’ve been kidnapped by the Zetas and I need some help raising some money. Please hurry.”

I can put on a good act if I have to.

Needless to say, my buddy’s wife picked up his cell and listened to his voice mail. The next thing he knows, she’s running into the living room all upset, saying something about “Gregg’s been kidnapped.”

I thought my buddy would know it was a joke, even though I did my best to sound serious, and had no idea his wife would A) listen to his voice mail, and B) get all freaked out because she couldn’t tell I was joking. I really didn’t mean to scare her.

Along the border these days, kidnappings are really no laughing matter. Especially on the other side, which is why almost everyone I know no longer crosses the river. All those nights eating at Garcia’s or La Cucaracha, gone. Sad.

Here, in Hidalgo County, of course, if we don’t have the most news of any county in Texas, not to mention the country, I don’t know what county does. Whether it’s the guy admitting to trashing the car of his ex-wife with smelly shrimp, or the Hidalgo County sheriff’s deputy allegedly attacking his wife earlier this month because she didn’t post a “Happy Father’s Day” comment on his Facebook page, how else to describe our county but strange, very, very strange. Hunter S. Thompson would call it just plain weird.

In summary, here are the stories I’m currently writing. The interviews have already been conducted, with the exception of a few, mainly those not in a hurry to be interviewed:

What really happened in Las Vegas when some of the Donna school board members and the board attorney went there earlier this month, and why did the district’s “drill instructor,” Mike Flores, drop all those F-bombs on a Facebook page when someone accused him of letting the district pay his way there just so he could marry the female school board trustee, Tammy Ramos? Talk about some school drama. One citizen has already fileda complaint against Flores because the district has apparently adopted a zero tolerance toward ill behavior on social media by school staff. And to make matters even more complicated, the drill instructor in question is related by marriage to the school district police chief, Roy Padilla.
Why is someone accusing new JP Jerry Muñoz of not living up to his campaign promise to be a full-time justice of the peace? Kind of hard to make that claim, said Muñoz, when asked for a response, especially when he’s driving to accident scenes in pouring rain at 3 a.m. and none of his court cases are backlogged. With Muñoz, we have a full interview detailing his life on the bench during his firstsix months since taking office Jan. 1
Why isn’t the new Anzalduas Bridge yet crossing commercial trafficand how close is McAllen getting to making it happen?
What’s really up with Donna ISD’s finances? Board Trustee Ernesto Lugo says the district is in great financial shape, and he wishes some of the media would get their stories straight. Seriously, Valley media getting their stories wrong? He also still questions why the district is paying a convicted felon attorney so much money that’s not even been budgeted?
What’s Pharr going to do with its Produce Park and how much money is the city willing to sink into its development?
How many people have applied for the job of San Juan city manager?
How did Mercedes and Weslaco strike a deal, finall, after years of wrangling over a piece of land?
The Sears store at La Plaza is apparently set for demolition in November. Sad for those of us who have shopped there for years.
How did the former Pharr city manager calculate the vacation time and sick time due him?
How does Sergio Contreras like his new job as Pharr’s EDC director?
What happened to the Pharr cops and their police instructor who were under internal investigation for allegedly committing fraud as it related to qualifying at the gun range? Or not qualifying, as the case may be.
Why doesn’t Mission Mayor Beto Salinas like food trucks?
Exactly how much in the red is the Pharr golf course and what, if anything, given the weather, can be done to remedy the problem?
What’s former county judge J.D. Salinas up to these days? Think phone company, and you have a clue.
Time to do that story on District Clerk Laura Hinojosa and the accomplishments she and her staff have realized during her tenure there. I interviewed her a year ago for a story. Get on it, Gregg, you lazy bum.
What’s new with the planning for the new county courthouse? Judge Ramon Garcia thinks he has the answer.
How widespread is the growth of the illegal 8-liners, from La Joya to Mercedes?
Is the Pharr incubator proving a success or failure and how many occupants reside there and how much do they pay for office space?
How will the FBI’s new task force uncover corruption in the Valley?