DPS on the Border

By G. Romero Wendorf

I had a local guy call me up the other day and say, “Gregg, you won’t believe this.”

“What” I asked. Thinking I’ve seen it all by now.

“I just drove from south of Weslaco to south of Pharr, and I must have seen eight DPS troopers just sitting by the side of the (Military) highway, doing nothing; just sitting there.”

“Seriously? Eight of them?”

“May have been nine,” he said. “But there were a lot of them. And they were just sitting there, doing nothing.”

Hmmm. How much is that costing taxpayers? I know the governor sent hundreds of troopers to the border area earlier this year, ostensibly to shore up border security. But from a practical standpoint, I have to ask myself, what exactly are they accomplishing? All of these troopers?

Apparently, some other Texas counties and cities aren’t happy, because by pulling the troopers away from other parts of the state, the issuance of traffictickets is down, and hence revenue is down for some government entities.

In the meantime, the governor is working to hire 500 new DPS troopers to help shore up border security, and he’s implemented fast-track approach, so that licensed peace officerscan apply to the DPS, and if they get hired, the training academy includes an accelerated process, eight weeks vs. the normal 20 weeks.

But some local law enforcement agencies aren’t thrilled about that idea either, since the governor’s plan is syphoning off seasoned cops from their respective jurisdictions, since the DPS pay is usually higher than what the cops are making on their current beat. Unless, of course, they have plenty of time already served.

When the guy called me up – nice guy as it turned out -- saying he saw eight DPS troopers between just south of Weslaco headed west toward Pharr, I couldn’t help believe he had somehow miscounted. Eight? Surely not. Was he seeing double?

So, last week, after a business lunch in Weslaco, I headed down Texas Boulevard, hit Military Highway and headed west toward the Pharr International Bridge.

Within just a mile, I already counted three DPS units. Just sitting on the side of the highway doing nothing.

The guy who called me, called me about three weeks ago. During the interim, I had emailed the DPS public information offic in Austin, explaining who I was, writing what I had been told – eight units between Weslaco and Pharr – and asked him what the logic was? You know, from a practical standpoint?

“What good does it do just to have them sitting there on the side of the highway?” I asked. “Not that you guys don’t do a good job,” I wrote, figuringbuttering him up might get me some answers.

No go.

The return email was short and to the point:

“It is the policy of the Texas DPS to not discuss ongoing operations.”

In other words, there isn’t one. The governor sent them here, and rather than drive up and down the highway, wasting gas, better to just park the unit on the side of the highway, preferably under a shade tree, and watch for some dumb drug mule or human traffickertoo stupid for words, who is either doing 30 over the speed limit, driving in the wrong lane, or driving at night with a busted headlight and no working brake lights.

But if you’re a smart criminal, driving a decent vehicle, in good shape, or a semi that looks legit, with good rubber on the tires, you could be carrying a ton of heroin in the trailer, or six illegals huddled under the pickup tarp, and the trooper parked on the side of the road wouldn’t have a clue that something illegal had just driven by their parked units.

By the time I hit South 281 near the Pharr Bridge and turned north, I had counted 11 DPS units between Weslaco and Pharr. Only two were actually driving on the road. The rest were parked. A few were huddled together, the troopers standing by the side of the road, jawing, not even looking at the traffic passing them by. 

Presumably, I thought, a truck with one of those big white CDG (Gulf Cartel/Cartel del Golfo) signs they paste to the side of their pickups south of the border could have driven by, and some of the troopers wouldn’t even have noticed.

While writing this column (Tuesday afternoon), I picked up my cell and called a friend who normally drives between McAllen and Roma. Turns out, he was just thinking about me, my telling him last week of my Weslaco-to-Pharr experience, asking how many troopers he was seeing lately on his drive to Roma.

“I was just thinking of you,” he said.

And then he proceeds to tell me that on his drive west between McAllen and Roma this Tuesday, he had counted 36 DPS units. And that was just one way. And not one of them was on the road. They were all parked on the side of the highway.

“Some of them even had their feet on the dashboard,” he said, sounding serious.

Funny thing was, I started to believe him.

“Nah, I’m just joking,” he said. “But they were all sitting there. Thirty-six of them.”

He was on his way home now, while we talked, headed east.

“There goes 37.”

It’s not that I’ve not been a proponent of border security. I am. But from a practical standpoint, what exactly is the point of all of this? Just to show the Mexican drug cartels that we’re taking them seriously on this side of the border? By the number of busts reported in this newspaper every week, it doesn’t look as if they’re too worried. They’re still crossing dope over the river by the tons.

And if an illegal immigrant on foot makes it across the river, or an entire family, they can presumably simply walk up to a DPS unit and say they’ve crossed here illegally, and the DPS trooper will call Border Patrol, and they’ll be transferred to a federal facility where they’ll be given shelter and food and a bus ticket to go and visit their primo Jose in Chicago, no questions asked.

Last summer, with the temps in the triple digits, the feds used to simply drop them at the McAllen bus station with nothing but the dirty clothes on their backs. That was before the city of McAllen, the county and other neighboring cities shamed the feds last year into at least showing a little more compassion. They’re here illegally, but they’re still human. Bathe them, feed them, give them some plan of action or deport them. But don’t just dump them off at the local bus station.

I don’t understand this border situation. Guess I never will. Thankfully, though, we’re not Mexico, and at least we still live in a land where we can drive the highways and not get kidnapped or our cars stolen at makeshift cartel checkpoints. And for that, I’m happy.